How to Unwind on a Saturday Night

While everyone else is out on the town, at the movies or at a bar, hanging out with friends, I decide to have a quiet night in and just relax. Just turn on the TV, cover myself with a warm blanket, and get Netflix on and marathon The Office. Can you believe I still haven't finished the series yet? It's going to happen tonight!

But first I decide to turn on the computer and check my email. See if there's anything interesting or important online. Maybe check the job boards, because who knows what's on there? Then I realize that I haven't applied for something I saw earlier this week, so I rush to open a Word doc and write a cover letter. I do some research on the company, look at my old cover letters, and labor over the spelling, grammar, and how the writing sounds. Oh, did I update my resume already? I double-check the email before I send, and then I find another listing I should check out. And another. It almost never ends. When were these posted? Oh gosh, there are just so many jobs to research and apply for. Okay, okay, I'll get to this later. Tomorrow. Maybe Monday. Anyway, I'm putting it off for now because tonight I'm finishing The Office.

So I bookmark a few pages I want to check back on and click off. Since my browser's open, I guess I'll just check what's on the Huffington Post. Really, this is what's happening in our world? Is Trump seriously the leading Republican candidate for the party right now? Why is Rubio making fun of his hands? This is what we've reduced to? I can't deal with this. Exit the window, exit now.

So I finally turn on the TV. I sit down and watch one episode, but I have to keep rewinding because my mind's on the job applications and the news coverage. I just can't concentrate. And soon I'm hungry and would like a snack. Ooh, maybe some cookies. Chocolate chip cookies! So I go to the fridge and take out two sticks of butter and two eggs, and then I begin to measure out flour and sugar in a bowl. Good thing I bought vanilla extract just yesterday, because we were out. I finish mixing up the dough with a light sheen of sweat on my brow, my arm tired now. In the fridge it goes now, perhaps until the oven finishes preheating.

I ready the cookie sheet by lining it with aluminum foil, but as I do so I pass all the used measuring cups and spoons and bowls, and I see that the sink is already full from the day. There is pasta sauce in some of those bowls, a hardened crust of something sticking to a plate, some leftover bits of meat and vegetables in a pan. I was basically baking in a room with a tub of dirty dishes right beside me. So I roll up my sleeves and turn on the water because I can't stand the look of them there. For good measure, I also wipe down the counter and refill the napkin holder. Then the oven finishes preheating, so I wash my hands again and roll out some dough balls to bake.

The leftover dough balls go back in the fridge, and I set the timer to go off in nine minutes. In the meantime, I pick up my old copy of Moby-Dick, an American classic that I've actually never read before. A pencil's already in my hand so I could take notes and underline parts of the text, and for a second I feel like I'm in school again, reading something dense and difficult that I definitely won't comprehend the first time around. Why am I doing this again? And why are they taking so long to get out on the sea? When do I get to the whale?

A smell reaches my nose and an alarm goes off somewhere. The cookies! I rush to the oven and open the door only to find black rounded shapes on the sheet. My alarm didn't go off for whatever reason, and now my cookies are burnt. I roll out more dough, my stomach angrily gurgling as I do so, and this time I check the clock on the microwave to make sure I knew when to check on the cookies if my timer doesn't go off again. Moby-Dick was a bad choice right now; I put it away.

I finally get the cookies out, and they've flattened so much more than I expected them to. Two dough balls had become one strange-looking cookie, and almost the whole sheet looks like that. I sigh. At least they'll taste fine, even if they look terrible.

I go back to the TV with my failed cookie in hand and a glass of milk, and turn on Netflix again because my PS3 signed me out. Time to de-stress after a stressful Saturday night now.

Sneezing

The most terrifying times to sneeze

 include:

Holding hot soup.

That's a danger. Especially if you're hungry, and the soup smells delicious, and you just cracked a bit of black pepper in it and am bringing it over to your table when suddenly your nose takes in some of that pepper too...

Driving.

Try keeping your eyes open. Then realize you'll fail, so slow down and keep your hands still on the steering wheel. Hope for a second one not to come.

Going through TSA.

I'm not sick! It's the pollen in the air, I swear. Ah ha, there's a dog nearby!

Washing a baby.

I'm assuming. I haven't done this.

Cooking.

Uh, you didn't see that.

Great times to sneeze

include:

When you're sick.

Sneeze-a-thons.

In the shower.

Where did it go? Who cares, keep washing.

A list of things related to tears

What should make me cry

The Notebook

The Book Thief

Weddings

What actually makes me cry

The Rugrats Movie

This moment in Mulan

Onions

Delicious breakfast and School of Rock

Dear blog,

Today was a nice day, and I wanted to record it in a public place. Why? Because sometimes it's nice to share your joy with strangers, and why not?

My roommate and I woke up at 9:30ish today to get ready to go to another friend's house to make breakfast there for her. Well, at least we planned for breakfast. But breakfast turned into brunch, and by the time we left Safeway and actually got to her house, brunch just turned into lunch. What a sneak time is! It was 11:00 am when we arrived there, and we still actually had to make the food. Luckily, it was a snap and a half to make:

1. Preheat the oven and put in Pillsbury biscuits in to cook for 13 minutes.
2. Put a pan on medium-high heat and fry up some bacon.
3. Beat eggs and milk to maximum fluffiness and cook those suckers!
4. Assemble: Cut the biscuits in half and sandwich with sharp cheddar cheese, eggs, and bacon in between.
5. Enjoy with mango orange juice and pomegranate juice, and have some nicely washed blueberries and sweet tarts for dessert. (Credit for trying to be healthy there.)

We ate at the couch while watching Friends, and even though we didn't make a fancy meal (or really even a plan... it was all hastily put together), it was a good ol' time with friends. I also became friends with the grey cat my friend lives with.

I went to the library and got some more books, and then I just went home and chilled for the rest of the day. At night, my roommate and I decided to watch School of Rock because though I had misgivings (sorry, thought it looked stupid), she said she liked it and thought I would too. So I took a chance - and totally enjoyed myself! Rock music, children, and humor equals the perfect combination. It was a great way to end the night!

So now here I am in bed, reflecting on what a simple, unexciting, and yet great day it was. These kinds of days are totally underrated and should be appreciated more, so here I am, appreciating them.

I also booked two flights home for the next couple of months, so that's something else to look forward to. I've been feeling bouts of homesickness for a while now, and I think a week with my family should help with that. Uh, and did I mention that my little sister's graduating?! The only thing I'm not looking forward to is packing because I've got at least four, maybe five books I'm planning to bring for them (and two are hardbacks, noooo). The only times I lift are when I have to bring my bag to the airport.

I'll be leaving Monday after work. Can't wait!

Yesterday at work

It was pretty unremarkable. I got in early, turned on what few lights we have working in the cave (aka our office), and clocked in. Checked my email, made a list of things to do for the day. You know, same-old.

I put my lunch in the mini-fridge and made myself some tea. Have you had 3:15 tea, the roasted milk tea flavor? You can buy it at Ranch 99. It's been my favorite for months now - how have I not discovered it before??

It began - and ended - like any other work day. But you know what was remarkable about yesterday?

It was the first Giants game of the year.

That means bustling crowds at noon, people draped head to toe in orange and black, a busier day for the restaurants and bars in the area.

It means that jerseys become the uniform for everyone, and families coming out in the middle of the day, and excitement brewing in the air, at least until the game begins and everyone's packed in the stadium.

It also means I end work and get stuck in masses of pedestrians walking back to BART. It means that even though I'm not a super fan, even though I can name probably two players on the team, even though I didn't know who the Giants were even playing, even though I am clearly dressed like I've just come from work, for ten minutes I'm with the crowd. I'm walking with the Giants fans, going to the same place to escape the city after its time. I'm one of them.

Long restless nights for me / Just want to lie down and sleep / Close my eyes, keep my mind free / Then maybe come the dreams

It is currently 1:06 a.m. on a weekday (I used to say 'school night,' but now that doesn't seem appropriate anymore), and I'm still awake. Why? Not because I'm doing anything important or trying to reach a deadline; no, I'm not forced to stay awake for anything. I'm on YouTube listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Modest Mouse while going through the annotations for Mistborn on Brandon Sanderson's site. This would be normal - if it wasn't 1:06 in the morning. (Technically, it's now 1:08. Great.)

This is what I'd like to call insomnia. Or maybe it's stress. I can't tell. Night is the time of the day when I'm most awake, even when I'm tired from the rest of the day. Night is when my brain starts whirring and the wheels start turning, but still I try to quiet and slow it down by going to bed relatively early. I think to myself, If I close my eyes and get really nice and warm under the covers, maybe I'll fall asleep quickly. And then I spend maybe two hours tossing and turning in bed before finally drifting off to sleep. It takes a while. I used to think that was normal, to take a few hours to fall asleep. That is, until I met people who fall asleep in just 15 minutes after they hit the sack. Whaaaaa, how dey do dat?!

But maybe I'm attributing my stress to insomnia. You know, sometimes I can't tell if I'm stressed or not. It's not like I have to write papers or go to exams anymore. But that doesn't mean I'm worry-free. These past few months, I've been thinking about taekwondo a lot. Other times, I think about my day and some significant moments that stand out to me. Or insignificant moments. Basically, all parts of my day I can't help but reflect back on and think about when I'm trying to fall asleep.

How do you turn off the brain? I've tried these breathing exercises people talk about, and they haven't really been working. One friend suggested I think of a color, just one color, and repeat that color in my head to keep my thoughts simple. "Black, black, black, black." Is the repetition supposed to tire me? Instead, my brain wanders when I try this exercise. "Black - not green. Black - not blue. Black - not red." You get the picture. And of course when I say "not [color]," the color I'm not supposed to think about automatically comes to mind.

I don't like to sleep in. That can be problematic, you see. I do fall victim to naps in the middle of the day sometimes, but I also want to cut that out. In my head, I think that if I deprive myself of sleep the whole day, then perhaps I'll have an easier time sleeping at night. Sometimes it works; sometimes it frustratingly doesn't.

I would ask if this is normal, but what does "normal" even mean? What do most people experience in trying to fall asleep, and what percentage of this population does "most" even refer to?

Honestly, I probably fall asleep easily more often than I make it out to be. It's just the bad nights that really stand out in my mind. It's not a caffeine problem, I'm sure. I don't know what it is.

Oh well. Hopefully I tire myself out soon. Who knows? Maybe it'll be a good night tonight.

Happy 2014!

Whoo, welcome to 2014! At the end of every year, we have a chance to stop and look back on everything we've done for the past twelve months. So much has happened, some things have stayed the same, and more things have changed. And let's face it, we have changed, and that's a good thing. How strange would it be if 365 days have gone by, and we look back and find ourselves not progressing at all?

So let's reflect! What do I want to remember about 2013?

NEW JOBS

In addition to continuing my internship at Zest Books, I also interned at Chronicle Books this year for six months and started working part-time for No Starch Press. Not only have I learned so much, but I also met a lot of fantastic, talented people who I have actually become good friends with. I love the publishing industry and am so happy I got the opportunity to attend some parties and shows this year, where I was surrounded by people who share the love of books. Hopefully this coming year, I'll be able to further my career in publishing and continue to do what I love.

BOOKS I READ

I started blogging about books more in 2013 to keep track of what I read and what I think of the books. I loved my college English classes because discussions and lectures made me think more deeply and appreciate the book more, regardless of whether I liked it or not. Writing reviews helps me remember what I read and how I react to the books. This past year was also the year I discovered new books through blogging and booktube communities, so I read more than I usually do.

MUSIC AND ART

Who knew music would be so important this year for me? Everyone loves music (or at least everyone should), but this year I went to more concerts than I ever have in my life and now I appreciate musicians and singers so much more. I'm talking particularly about Muse (thanks to Odona). We went to see them in concert in LA, and it was amazing. Honestly, I was blown away by how good they are.

As for art, I discovered a love for finding talented artists through my internship at Chronicle, where I worked on art books. In fact, during NaNoWriMo one of the primary inspirations for my stories were drawings made by Yelena Bryksenkova, who has a very distinct aesthetic that is totally right up my alley. And I didn't even know I had an alley. Anyway, love her work and found so many other talented people through there thanks to art and design sites.

FRIENDS AND FAMILY

I wasn't going to mention this because it goes without saying, but my friends and family have a huge part in shaping who I am. For anyone who has come in and out of my life this past year, thank you for your friendship and love. I am grateful to meet and know you. Some people I hang out with infrequently while others I see on a weekly basis, and some others I met and interacted with every day before we moved on to our separate paths. It doesn't matter, because you all have a place in my experience this past year and make me who I am in small and large ways.

In speaking about family, all I can say is that every year I grow more and more appreciative of them. How is that even possible when they take up almost my whole heart? But every year they are different and change, and that also affects me and makes me change as well. That is neither good nor bad, but it's important that we grow and develop together, even when we're physically apart. I saw my family a lot more in 2013 than I did in previous years since I moved away for college. Eventually, I do want to move back to Los Angeles, but for now I'll make due with whatever family time I get because it's always fun and interesting (even if all we're doing is sitting in a room, talking about what we should do for the upcoming weekend).

Aside from these, here's what I want to say goodbye to:

THE THINGS I CAN'T CHANGE
Actually, I want to say goodbye to the anger I feel about this. Along with the good came tough times in 2013. Much of these are things beyond our control unfortunately, and though they remain with us to this day we cannot do anything other than move past it. Despairing won't make things better. The most we can do is keep our chins up and have hope in our hearts. I have been touched by some events that are tragic and cannot be forgotten, but I am learning to accept them and approach with a more helpful attitude than just one of anger and frustration.


I'm really excited for this new year. It's bound to be better than the previous year if we all just work towards a better and happier future. Happy new year!